Crispi Crunch – Thumbs UP ( feat. Sori )

Rap duos can be found a dozen a buck in Korea, just to give you some names : Untouchables, Mighty Mouth, Supreme Team, Dinamic Duo, Leessang, of course, and many others. The newest on on the market is Crispi Crunch. Not Crispy Crunch as I was tempted to spell it because the phrase must have been TM-ed by a chocolate company.

So what is it with Crispi Crunch and its sudden rise in popularity ? I honestly thought there’s not much going on in there after I gave Thumbs Up a quick listen. A nice party anthem, with lots of growling and shouting, yet as original as the 34594th stalking cat on YouTube is today. This is what I was thinking of them until I got a tip from here that  funny stuff is going on in the video.

Hands up anyone who’s been to a club and witnessed  a guy having at least one of the behaviors depicted by the two specimens in the MV. Hands up if you’ve said meh… to at least one MV in which the singer/singers were being too conscious of themselves and the camera. And lastly, hands up all my girls who had problems in the past with taming a guy’s sexual outbursts in public. I see a sea of hands ( I’m not delusional, I hope).

Look at Hands Up video first, then watch Thumbs Up.

Do you get where I’m heading ? These guys and their producers are geniuses. Better yet, watch both the cut and uncut versions of Thumbs Up. I have no idea which one is more nutty, the cut version with all the mocking pointed at the likes of 2PM or the uncut with the hilarious shots in the closet. I don’t understand a word those two girls are saying, but I could swear it is something I’ve said on more than one occasion. And the ending with that she-male’s POV, oh, EEEPIIICC!!! Even the way they make fun of the occasional male-on-male making out fan-service, and of the idiotic and superfluous adlib-ing, and of the whole We Rock the Show – all are freaks and nerds except us attitude, and of the girl sandwich-ing… Oh, this shit is dope !!!!

Final rating : an honest thumbs up for the boys  10/10 !

We be coolest in the club












Crispi Crunch

We be jerking off in the club



Jay Park – Demon

No one was so hatefully bashed in here as Jay Park was in this malicious review. As an ending note I was advising him to try a more original and an inch more polished sound in order to come up with a true party anthem. Well, he did that. And no, not because of my bashing. Demon is not the greatest and most original thing ever but it manages to put Jay Park in front of my full of disbelief eyes in a completely new light. I love almost everything about this song. You may be familiar with my strange passions, like the one for this song. Now I think I’m having the same symptoms. I like the catchyness of the melody and how it starts at a low volume then suddenly powers up after a few seconds, I love the use of a grave violin tune and girl screams in the background, the rap in the middle 8 is delivered in a playful way that I am very fond of and the thing that manages to give me the good chills most are those adorable lyrics written by our very own Jay. I am willing to forget all about that Bestie girl and pledge my eternal love for Jay for being able to incorporate these verses in a song :

“I was on my way to heaven,
then she brought me down with a smile.
The scent of her perfume (black leather),
one look I traded God for her eyes.”

and the rap I was talking about :
“I was trying to go and save my soul,
but loving you really takes its toll.
You’re the only single name I know,
we must be glued together ’cause I can’t let go,
I tried to leave but I ain’t getting away.
No wonder your eyes are red in every picture we take,
‘cause you’re a demon why are you so evil to me?
But I love it so damn why didn’t I see?
You’re a master piece gone wrong, a wreck waiting to happen,
the grim ripper might as well go wait in the casket.
Not a human being but baby you’re a spirit.
I’m a super hero but you’re just a stronger super villain,
the best team in the league with you, I can’t win.
Heartbeat won’t die, my love’s what we can see.
So let me throw again what I still believe,
Baby you’re the finest demon that I’ve ever seen. “

I am so blindfolded by my new-found obsession that I was able to get past the gag reflex that wreck of a MV  is provoking me at every watch. The dance shots are ok ( he is, after all, a very talented dancer ), especially the slow-mo shot at 2:32 is a beautiful touch but any part that includes the actual she-demon look like taken from Drakula 5. ( I have no idea if this movie was ever made but if you were to ask me, aside from the fact that Santa and Dracula never really existed, any movie that tackles this subject is

a complete waste of money and lack of talent ). I mean, I like the actual skinship between her Evil Highness and Jay but seriously now, she seems as if she’s weighing a tone if you were to  look at Jay’s tormented appearance while she’s sliding over his bare chest…bare chest...chocolate abs…mmmm. And don’t even get me started on those gruesome Caspers that fluster around her. All in all things come to a cute NG ending and I’m happy to know that even he doesn’t take this MV that serious. Final rating : 8.6/10 Great job, Jay !

Rain – It’s Raining

Oh, cool sound effects that imitate thunders. Yes, Rain asking me if I am ready. Baby, for you, ready as I’ll ever be! Rain over me, rain me cats and dogs. Just humidify me. ( Is this turning too PG rated ? )
2004’s It’s Raining, is, in my opinion, one of Rain‘s best dance songs. It is so ahead of its time in terms of composition and it must have been epic to see global superstar Rain performing it live ( Why is it that sometimes I sound so groupie like ?? ). On a more serious tone, Rain was indeed the hottest thing out there untill, well, gyms and shirtless photo shootings became more popular.
The r&b touch, the deep breaths and Rain’s rough vocal timbre make the sexyness triggered hormones inside of me reach insane measures. Is like that stupid joke on drunks: “he had some traces of blood in his alcohol test”. I’m having trouble finding some red blood cells left in my Rain test.
I wonder if Rain will ever sing about the monsoon season in India. That would be the coolest thing ever !
Final rating : 9.0/10.

I like a good reason for a hot guy to show of some abs.

Jay Park – Take A Deeper Look ( album review )

The very few things I know about Jay Park are : the fact that he used to be a member of 2PM untill out of a sudden he decided to go solo and that he has chocolate abs. In what concerns the last piece of information I just couldn’t say no to his request to take a deeper look at them. ( O.O )

I have a love-hate relationship with r&b. It’s a painful experience for me to listen to such songs from R.Kelly or Usher. The abuse of vocal embroidery makes me sick and the overall impression is that I’m listening to the same melody over and over again. On the other hand, a more inspired sound could lighten up my interest. Michael Jackson does that. Or did. Still does, MJ is not dead, you hear me ??? In the world of kpop, Wheesung does that too. But more about me and my crush on Wheesung in another episode.

Getting back to Jay Park’s Take A Deeper Look, sadly, this album managed to aggravate my imaginary heart disease. Proverbial were the verses from Can’t Be Without You, the 4th track : ” I’m so hurt-girl/ I need a doc-tor”.
The first song, Touch The Sky, features rap parts by the Quiett ( never heard of ) and the refrain goes something like this : ah ah aa aah/ ah ah aaaa aaaah.

Abandoned has Jay agonising about how lonely he feels and how sad that is and how a better place the world would be if the war in the middle east were to come to an end. That’s my interpretation of the song. You give a better one if you can !

To Jay Park’s despair, his flashy comeback track, Tonight, shared the title with the one Big Bang was supposed to release at about the same time. Needless to say his performances were delayed a few weeks and Abandoned was chosen for promotions. He did perform Tonight but later on, when the harm had already been done. Remember the Big Bang comeback tsunami ??

Jay needs to give party anthems to his audience because his r&b style is, to say the least, outdated. Tonight isn’t that party anthem. You need something with a faster beat to show off those abs more.
The rest of the songs are fairly similar to the ones I already talked about and, to be sincere, I felt too bored to even try to pay attention while listening. The one thing that did caught my attention was the last song. It talks about some Bestie ( yes, this is the original spelling ) girl Jay Park is supposedly infatuated with. How exactly does she look and in which African desert can

she be found remain a mystery, but she’s his “everything”. How romantic…

Final rating : 3.4/10 Also because he has the most annoying voice i’ve heard since Akon and it’s hard to top Akon.